[Fic - Merlin] Where the Innocence Lies

[onyxexistance]

Title: Where the Innocence Lies
Fandom/Pairing: Merlin - Mainly Gwen some Merlin mentioned.
Rating: G
Author: onyxexistance /openmoments 
Spoilers: N/A
Summary:   She can't tell him to hide himself, even though it's the reason he'll be killed.
Disclaimers: Do not own.©BBC & Shine
Author's Notes:  Here is one of the fics I wrote for thefuturequeen   's LAS competition. I only wrote two before backing out. This was for challenge number three: "In life you always have a choice. Sometimes it's easier to think that you don't." Gwen from A Remedy to Cure All Ills



She stands still, heart running straight out of her rib cage where it lies, beating on the floor. There was, once upon a time, when she told him that, in life, you always have a choice, even if you don't think you do. And here she is, watching her decisions flicker and fade in front of her eyes, regret and what ifs colouring them in negative shades.

At first, the decisions that a person makes never seem important. They're small, insignificant and seem unconnected to anything that matters. Words that spill from your tongue, dripping over your lips and winding themselves around the wrong person's ears. It all seems so innocent, something that can be blind eyed and pushed under the expensive rugs she dusts on a weekly basis. But memories don't stay locked and the vault of images careens in front of a vengeful king's eyes.

His life has faded, his eyes dead as he looks past her, the blame he doesn't place on anyone settling within the pit of her stomach. They brought this upon themselves, she was an accomplice in her innocence, and he always knew better.

But it's a part of me, like your smile's a part of you, he had whispered one night, his eyes alive and his mouth a twisted bow of joy. Now, that bow is drooping, ragged, the edges torn, his eyes have died, and she can see the darkness creeping in to consume him at any moment.

You'll be killed!, the voice of reason erupted from her, even as she knew that being true to himself was almost more important than his life. And now she wishes that she would have persisted with reason, that she could have forced him to lock it up and put his magic in the dark closet of himself, behind his ribs, right next to his heart. But, she didn't. Because she knew that she would never let herself be the one to take away what made him....Merlin.

And so she watches as they take him away, thin wrists tied behind his back. She keeps the turmoil within her a secret, hidden from everyone's probing eyes until she's safe in her house, her shoulders heaving with sobs that she can't force out of her eyes, what she's just viewed burned, ingrained, forced into her memory.

The last time she ever sees Merlin, he stops mid step and looks her in the eye, a smile pulling his drooping bowed mouth up, just a sliver, before he's pushed on and out of her sight.