onyxexistance: (miss)
    Today's Post: Copied and Posted from [profile] manyfacets

    How is it that every time I'm posting here, I seem to be ranting about something? Well, I'm not really complaining about anything, I'm just.......confused! I keep asking God why He's put certain people in my life when all they seem to do is cause me pain.  I figure that most of them don't realize it, but they do.
    Seriously, the guy I talked about yesterday pretty much just ditched me, and didn't say a word to me afterwards. Thanks. And then a bunch of other shitty things happened, and his brother came over to our table, and I basically was a royal bitch to him. Honestly, I really need to watch myself. I keep blaming the wrong people, and then I feel like a first class loser. *slams head on desk*
    Music Festival is tomorrow, and I haven't practiced since Wenesday because of drama. I've practiced once already today, but I'm going to need to do it WAAAAAAY more because my singing teacher added some dippity-do-das in the one song, and wants me to sing it that way. My cassette player was wrecked for three weeks and I couldn't practice! Thanks a LOT!
  I have to clean my room, bake muffins for tomorrow, and figure out what I'm doing for my Musical Theatre. I just want to curl up and cry. I need to do SOMETHING! I feel like shit, and I just want to scream at something! ANYTHING! I just want someone to talk to, who'll listen, and who won't think that I'm pathetic, insane, completely lost everything, wanting attention, whatever. I just want someone to hold me and tell me that things will be okay. I want someone who'll listen to me rant and rave for an hour, and won't mind me raving about the same thing two or three times over.  I just want a friend right now.
    On top of that, my baby bro's in the hospital. The doctor in town can't figure out what the HECK is going on, so my parents took him to the city last night. He'll be there with my mom until Tuesday, which means that my dad's the only one home, which means I'll be in trouble at least twenty million times before my mom gets home. *sigh* We dont' get along so great.    
    Something good DID happen this weekend though, related to Drama Festival! WE WON SECOND! For just about EVERYTHING! It was sooo great! And it's what we wanted. Because then we wouldn't have to move on, but we know that our play was great! Our drama directors were soooooo funny to watch! They jumped up and down and were just laughing! SOOOO funny! And then one girl won a medal for her part, another won an award, our play won two medals, our music and sound guy won a medal, and our light girl won a medal! It was so exciting!
    So yeah, even though some things went wrong, there were good things that happened. Like the dance. I enjoyed that. I mean, even though the guy was an idiot for the last part of yesterday, he was really nice to me most of the other time. Even though both he AND his bro were surrounded by girls all the time, and I could barely get a word in edgewise when that happened. I mean, he and I danced horribly together and everything at the dance on Friday. And then we sat together for the last play, and had fun, and whatever.
    And, I got to talk to him and his brother on MSN last night (I apologized to his brother.). Though, he DID leave without saying anything.........

    So, I guess there were some good things that happened. But, I'm still asking God why He's put those two in my life, as well as a few others. And I guess, it'll take time to tell me why.....
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onyxexistance: (plastic lives)
Hmm, I played badminton after school. I lost my first game (it was bad. i wasn't warmed up or anything, so it wasn't great), won my second and third games (21-16, 21-4, 21-2, 21-2), and then lost the first set, and won the second one.

The last game was against the best badminton single girls player, and I beat her in the second game. Brattiest girl I've ever played against. She was winning by about 3, and she got mad when she dropped a point! *unsure* But, i just stayed calm and it was great!

And then at Youth had a massive pillow fight *sighs happily* I wish it was every week instead of every other week. I look forward to it SOOOO much. Honestly, there's no words to describe.... I just feel so...peaceful there. There's kids that come from the Bible College in town, and there's usually six of us or so, and we talk about our week, so some silly, strange, weird, random things, and have  a blast, eat junk food (but since I gave it up, I look for oranges, apples, something like that!), and just talk about our week. Hopefully we'll get to do a weekend one, where we can stay for longer than we usually do. Honestly, we could go for hours!


I'm tired. It's been a long week so far. I've got drama festival coming up, and singing festival after wards, my cassette player's broken, and I haven't been able to practice for two weeks, I need to find props, and I've had math homework that's taken me two hours for the past three nights.

*complain* I hate school....*complain*

What else? On the way to badminton and back, about a half hour trip each way, was just....fun. There was two guys from my class, (one sitting up front, the other in the back), and then my sister, a guy fromm her class, as well as a girl from her class (Megz, you know who I'm talking about O_o). Anyways, it was a blast! We were just talking about....everything. Ragging on each other, and just being...teens, which is something I haven't felt in forever!

I'm the oldest of seven, and so feel like I'm responsible for a lot (which is true), and I've had to mature faster in a lot of ways that other people my age haven't. And, so I see things a lot differently than people from my class, age group, and all that. It's not really a bad thing, just different. But, it also sets me back in some ways. Like, I don't hang out a lot, because I have to baby-sit, so I don't feel comfortable in large groups, and I don't make strong ties with people, I don't like really strange situations, I'm leery of new people (actually, depends on who I'm with...), and there's other. Okay, that's my rag on my life! lol:D
onyxexistance: (black and white)
ACK! It's been a couple of days. So sorry to anyone that might be reading about my *ahem* interesting life. But, I've been busy on my main account here on livejournal (manyfacets) I'm trying to see if I can post every day this month (unless it's completely unaviodable. But still).

It's been a long week, and I have a terrible feeling that the weekend is only going to be longer. *sigh* We had basketball practice at 6:45 this morning, and I have drama...for two hours. Honestly, I'm sorry that everyone ELSE can't go to practice, but I really didn't want to go. It was a good practice, but it's not fair to those of us that actually TRY, and WANT to go to Provincials. Cause that's what'll happen if we win this weekend. I'm sorry, WHEN we win this weekend.

But, I'm hoping that tonight it'll be a good sleep, and then tomorrow I'll see if I can sleep on the way to Foam Lake. (where we're playing).

So, that's the short of my life. Basketball.
onyxexistance: (words)
Four points
Four directions
Four ways
It travels

North
South
East
West

The wind
Knows no
Bounds

Travelling
As it
Would

Shrieking
Howling
Whispering
Tickling

Hushed
Thoughtful

Emotions
Not bound
To
Humans

Visiting
Places,

Been in
Times,

We can only
Dream of



There's ma poem. Hope you all enjoyed. And since I am completely lazy tonight, here's my rant on having no TV, copy and pasted from the moviebuffs community:

As I am probably one of very few people who DON'T have TV, I didn't get to watch it. *cries silently in corner* And, I didn't get to see HALF the movies on the damn list. If my weekends weren't so busy, I would have. *shoots basketball.*

Alas, since I didn't watch them, I had to be happy with reading the results off the Hotmail link *feels extremely pathetic*

Since I didn't see all the movies, I don't think I can make any judgments either way. However, I'm hoping that sometimes soon my friend and I can rent most of the movies and just watch until our eyeballs pop out. However, since I live in a ridiculessly small town, who knows WHEN that'll happen (they have one of each movie, not....8.). O_o.

So, that's my rant on the unfairness of no TV on a night like that...


If you have EVER headed on over to my other journal (manyfacets), you'd know that I've been wanting to act since I was eight. I'm now fifteen. So missing out on something like the Oscars is big. Not as big when I was younger cause I had too much of a life to know what they were. But now that I'm getting more and more interested in my future, missing it was a blow. Not huge, but enough.

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onyxexistance

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